Moving On After A Break Up

Breakups can be very emotionally draining experiences. Giving your heart to someone and having them break it can be sometime the most devastating thing that can ever happen to someone. Since it may be inevitable to have someone break up a relationship, then having a coping mechanism is not a bad idea.After a break up, the affected person should groom him/herself well to create a ‘feel good’ mood. Make your hair, treat yourself to a massage, dress well, watch a favorite movie and generally celebrate yourself to boost the way you feel.

You should also detach yourself from things that remind you of the just ended relationship such as gifts, photos and venues that you visited together. You could do this by returning the gifts or locking up all the memories in a big box if you are not ready to set them on fire.

Keep yourself busy. If you keep idle, the thought of the heart breaker will linger on your mind. For this reason, you should engage in a sport of your choice such as tennis, swimming or chess to keep yourself busy and entertained. After giving yourself a good break, purpose to meet new people. Not all relationships will lead to a break up. If one has not worked out, try another. I’m sure by now you will have learnt a few things from the old relationship that you can carry into the new one.

Just don’t let the breakup bring you down to a point where you are unable to continue with your life.

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Making Friends

Human beings are social people and this means that they will always make friends, keep the ones they socially connect with and lose touch with the ones they have not built closeness with.This is the reason why gatherings that offer social grounds such as discos, restaurants, churches, football pitches and even parties are very popular. It is also the same reason why social networking websites like face book and twitter have grown at a very high rate. Most people look forward to attending social functions and after the event, they reflect on how many friends they have made, who attended the function and whether they will meet again in another function.

For some people, making friends can be easy while for others it may be a challenge. Human beings get attracted to someone and wish to be their friend because of their talent, sense of humor, common interest or just simple need for a friend. Young people go out of their way to polish their looks, dress in a trendy way, practice a few jokes or rehearse the latest dance move before a party so that it can earn them new friends.

It would cause any person a lot of emotional stress if they attended a function where no one was interested in making friends with them. It is in this line that you find that people do not go to events where they do not know anybody unless they carry a friend along.

The next time you call someone your friend, think of the circumstances under which you met and what keeps you glued as friends. It would be interesting to keep this data.

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Life Is about Choices

Am sure each one of us desires to lead lives of our own making, where we don’t have to worry about paying bills or how to take care of our families. But in the current economical times it appears as though there are many issues to be handled and very limited time. So we end up living one day at a time and just hoping for the best.

Some five years ago I realized if I didn’t make tough and deliberate decisions my life would not be the way it is now. The choices I made then have greatly contributed to my current happiness. I got to a place in my life and resolved in my mind never to be in a dilemma. But rather tackle issues immediately they crop up. One major decision I made was quitting being in employment.

What I did was being honest with myself, I was not happy at my place of work and I wondered why I would not also employ others to work for me. The determination to gain leverage by using other people’s resources helped me come to such a decision, though the consequences would maybe affect my financial status I choose to think positively.

You are the one who determines the life you want to live therefore the initial steps you take will count a lot for your future. Avoid listening to voices that pull you back but instead seek for friends that encourage and give you hope. Team up with individuals who are optimistic and focused. Finally, never ever give up whatever the circumstance.

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Communication In Marriage

People are different and in a marriage, two people of different up-bringing, goals, thoughts, feelings and sometimes cultures have to live together and complement each other. The only way they can achieve a level of oneness is by listening to each other, talking out their views and reaching an understanding that would make both parties either satisfied or close to being satisfied.

Communication is not only verbal. Non-verbal means of communication such as body language also counts. A partner may not say much but buy a birthday gift which reflects and at the same time communicates love. In many cases though, discussing is the best means of communicating in a marriage as it leaves no room for misunderstanding.

As people live together they get to learn their partners and discover the best time to discuss issues, the right tone to use while solving problems as well as the words that work magic in conflict resolution or persuasion of one’s partner.It is advisable that each couple agrees on a time that is set apart just to talk about anything in their relationship. This could be daily or even weekly depending on the couple’s schedule. But this agreement doesn’t mean that one has to wait until the set time to relay any concerns to their partner. As the couple continues to enhance their communication, their bond also continues to grow much stronger.

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Office Affairs

One of the reasons why affairs build in the office is because people with common skills and interests work together in departments and as they share their ideas in projects and assignments, they find themselves attracted to each other.

If one gets into an office relationship then a number of things ought to be dealt with. For example, if the relationship goes sour, how do you relate to each other? If the break up is very bad then maybe one of the parties can resign or request for a transfer to a different section of the company.

Another thing to consider is the ranks of the people involved in the affair. If a manager is involved with a junior staff then he/she should appoint others when it comes to appraising the staff to avoid being biased. It would also help to agree on the times when the colleagues having an affair get to meet on a social platform and when to focus on work otherwise it is very easy to nurture the relationship at the cost of the company.

If well managed, affairs at the office can flourish into happy marriages.

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First Impressions Matter

A friend of mine narrated to me how he was one time treated by a man he met in a bus. He was coming from Mombasa to Nairobi and since it is a long ride, he started a conversation with a very smartly dressed young man. My friend had gone to Mombasa for a brief business trip and was now coming back in a relaxed mode; he was wearing simple T-shirt and a pair of Khaki short pants.

After some hours, he was hungry and hence asked his newly found friend who of course looked very wealthy, “I am not so conversant with the city of Nairobi, when we alight, will you please take me to one of the hotels for a meal?” His smartly dressed friend was delighted to do exactly that. When they alighted in town, his friend confidently led him to a hotel, but after a few minutes he was shocked to find out that the hotel he was being taken was in the middle of the toy market, a slum in the outskirt’s of Nairobi. It is an extremely filthy environment and very unhygienic.

His friend sits down on the dark oily wooden benches inside the dusty, unclean hotel and comfortably orders for a burger and a mug of tea. He calmly asked his friend, “Ah…my friend, is…is this the best hotel in Nairobi?” His friend answers confidently, “Well it is definitely the cheapest in town.”

He then took his smartly dressed friend to Hilton Hotel and said, “I meant apart from Hilton Hotel which is the other better place.” And his friend really apologized. Anyway, he took good care of his friend and from this event, he learnt a hard lesson. People tend to treat you the way you look.

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Lessons of Life

I belong to the school of thought that believes, there are no mistakes in life, only lessons which will allow you to grow and advance higher on the path of self mastery and self discipline.This is not to say that we become oblivious and reckless in our living and put to death the conscious voice of rightful living. Simply put, it is to stop being captives to our past mistakes and become the architects of our future.

Hanging on to our past and notably to the mistakes we have made is paramount to clinging to an outmoded view of reality. Constant viewing of our past mistakes as spasms of foolishness rather than lessons to learn from, often presents itself as a deadly poison that paralyzes our ability to progress and sends us to a sense of resignation to inadequacy and self pity.

We need a paradigm shift and an awakening of the conscious to view mistakes for what they are and not allow ourselves to be shaped and defined by them. In retrospect, I believe this can only be realized when we truly begin to ask ourselves the hard questions like how did we make these mistakes? Why do we make the same mistakes over and over again? Could they be avoided? How can we overcome the pain that comes with making mistakes? And most importantly, how can I begin to view my mistakes as life lessons, put them behind me and move on?

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